I AM for You!

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Does God do Evil for Good?

With my eyes closed in fear of Him

Jesus led me,

With my eyes closed in fear of God

Jesus gave me sight.

With my eyes now opening,

Jesus rescued me.

With my eyes now opening,

Jesus is ending the night.

Theresa said (and I imperfectly paraphrase), If God is an infinitely better parent than I am, would He say, “This is for your own good,” and push His child down the stairs to “teach them a lesson”? I recoiled at that statement. Yet it broke through my blindness. That’s what I have been claiming God did to me. I have said, God gave me mental illness for ten years to humble me. He did not.

Satan did.

But not to humble me but to terrorize me.

Theresa said (and I imperfectly paraphrase), You cannot get close to God if you believe He has harmed you.

I believed God had greatly harmed me, tortured me constantly in my mind, and had the same character today – “for my own good.” I was totally deceived.

And I am now disoriented.

Forty Seven years of deception does not leave my mind voluntarily. Yet the impossibility of God doing evil remains.

Though satan’s plan was to terrorize me, Jesus had a plan to love me:

Jesus arranged for me to meet one of His followers in 1985. That follower presented Jesus through their words and actions. That follower took me to church and mentored me. I listened to Rev. Dr. Charles F. Stanley 6 days a week for two years. I married the most wonderful, godly woman in the world from whom I keep learning about love. I was involved with Promise Keepers and The Global Leadership Summit. I learned from 100 John C. Maxwell Injoy Life tapes. I have been delivered from people seeking to end my employment or did end my employment because I stood up for Jesus at four different companies. Jesus has lived through me to write over 100 communications published on a weekly rotation to thousands of readers for over 10 years (Through Jesus writing these essays through me He taught me what I was ready to learn). Jesus started
a mental health support group through me at my church. And I record Jesus’
progress with me in this blog.

That is how Jesus is loving me into trusting Him after satan poisoned my whole view of God.

The counseling I have received and the classes I am taking are priceless for my healing. For more information go to https://lifecentergr.org/

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My most important post to date

I was fooled by satan.

I have written extensively that God met me when I was in my late teens and gave me mental illness because I would not humble myself and admit to him I was a sinner.

I have found out during Christian discipling that that is a lie.

I was fooled by satan.

God is exactly represented by Jesus. And Jesus loves me. He delights in me. He is for me. He will never leave me. He would never punish me. All the punishment due me was poured out on Jesus when He was on the cross.

When Jesus died and went to the grave my “old man”, my dead spirit, went to the grave with Him. When Jesus rose from the dead He gave me a new spirit that loves Him. His Spirit and mine joined and we became one. God, through Jesus, did everything for me. All I have to do is receive His love.

Jesus made my spirit perfect but my soul is not regenerated, nor my body. My mind, will, and emotions and my physical body draw me to sin. If I sow to sin I reap bad feelings, fear, isolation, jail, disease, death. If I sow to Jesus’ Spirit I reap good feelings, joy, love, peace, life. Sin is its own punishment. Love is its own blessing.

My depression is being replaced by love through forgiving others and what they have done to me.

If your theology is not bringing you love, joy and peace, you do not know the truth about Jesus. You are believing a lie. Have the courage to seek Jesus and the truth. Regardless of the lies that some well meaning people or institutions have told you, Jesus does love you, completely, as you are, right now. The choice of spending eternity with His love is NOT HIS. He has given it to you. He will not force Himself on you. He has not predestined you to heaven or hell. The Bible says, “Those He foreknew He predestined.” The Greek for “foreknew” does NOT mean “chose”. It means “knew before.” He predestines based on YOUR CHOICE, NOT HIS. He has given you free will and self-determination. He will not take it back. YOU are responsible for your choice. By answering “No” or “No answer” you are rejecting His eternal love and forgiveness. By answering “Yes” you are in His arms forever. He will never reject you even if you lose faith in Him later.

Satan will feed you the lie of “you don’t have to choose, you can blame God.”

The truth is, that Jesus would rather die than spend eternity without you. . . And He did.

“Today is the Day of Salvation, NOW is the accepted time.”

Thank you God the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit,

Jim McNaughton

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Welcome to I AM for You!

My goal is to share the love of Jesus that he has shared with me.

Love does not condemn people, but love does condemn that which harms people, known in the Bible as “sin.” These actions I am against, not the people doing them. My life was sinful when I met Jesus. I denied it. And spent ten years under His wrath while He humbled me. When I admitted my sin and accepted Jesus my life changed. Now I am not sinless, but I do sin less. I still fall short and need His forgiveness.

Join me as we discuss Jesus, Mental Illness, and the combination of both.

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The Dominant Servant

I have precious little dominance. I scored almost zero in dominance on a personality test. I hate directing people. I don’t see the big picture. I am better one-on-one, listening, empathizing, and encouraging.

One of the things I hate to see is someone with high dominance using their God-given strength to serve themselves. They can be pushy, rude, scheming, intimidating and more; with a trail of hurt people in their wake (and those hurt by them include themselves).

One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen is a person with a dominate personality with a servant’s heart. They don’t try to dominate you, they try to serve you. They use their personality to easily do the things I can’t do. They see the big picture. They anticipate problems and work on solutions while options are available. They warn you of the problems that are coming. They include others in decision-making. They know the strengths of the people they work with and strategically suggest the best way to use those strengths. Though they are essential they realize they are an equal member of the team, and deserve no more credit than those with other personalities and contributions who are just as essential.

Those who are greatest in God’s kingdom of love are servant’s of all. And we can all be the greatest, because we can all serve one another. God has given us different but equally valuable personality strengths. And when persons with dominant personalities use their strength to serve others, all the personality strengths are orchestrated for the benefit of everyone; to the glory of the God who designed us to complement, serve and love each other.

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What is a "Strong" Personality?

Our culture uses the term “strong personality” in a way that seems funny to me. If you are loud, selfish, and stubborn, insist on your own way, and get it by force, the culture calls you “strong”. If you are quiet and listen to others, if you don’t insist on your own way, but work synergistically to find a better solution than either of you had alone, you are “weak”.

Truly strong personalities can be dominant or laid-back, expressive or analytic. What makes someone truly “strong” is servant-hood. What makes them “weak” is selfishness.

Jesus was the strongest and the most completely developed personality I know. He used His dominance to lead and protect 12 men from the attacks of men and satan. He used His laid-back qualities to promote peace between a former Roman-sympathizing traitorous tax-collector (Matthew) and a former revolutionary Roman-hating Zionist (Simon the Zealot). He expressed His love for others openly through laughter, weeping and everything in between. He was calculating, telling Judas to hurry, revealing He knew Judas plot and making sure He would be buried before sundown.

Jesus used His strength to serve others, not to seek what He wanted. He was and is committed to His Father and to us.

Are you strong?

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I was a perfect parent… until I had children

The great thing about being young and inexperienced is that you know everything. At least I did. Before I had children I knew what every misbehaving kid needed. Before children I had all the answers. After children I don’t even remember the questions. But it is not just the young and inexperienced who suffer from omniscience. Experienced parents who believe that what worked for their kids will work for all kids cause greater pain. And the parents of special needs kids, in my case kids with mental health challenges, feel that pain. Sometimes from the disapproving looks of strangers, but many times from the comments of their own parents, family and friends.

I was a perfect parent… until I had children

By Jim McNaughton B.S. (Barely Sane)
(Style inspired by Dr. Seuss, only for parents)

Some children are brought home and sleep through the night

They are corrected according to the books

They don’t fight and they don’t bite

And fall in line with one stern look

The parents of these

Children that please

Sometimes take the credit

They write books and give others looks

When the others just don’t quite get it

But we are not the parents of these that please

Our children not only don’t get it

They study us intently to learn our faults and

Our buttons in hopes to upset it

They can weave a lie without batting an eye

They love the crowds all around

To yell “you’re hurting me” and “I can’t breathe”

Though you’re NOT and they CAN

(And YOU just want to LEAVE)

Try Love and Logic they say

It works the best

(Unless you’re kid has no

Cause and effect)

Put up a chart… Charge him for you to do his chores…

You just need to be firm… You just need to love more…

We know the answer… (Though we hardly know your kid…)

We think we know him much more than you ever did

So the next time you see my child and me

Struggling while we go through the store

Please lend us some of your compassion

Advice… We don’t need any more.

Grace is not a free pass to sin, you will regret your sin

Hebrews 10:26-27 (NASB95)
26 For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,
27 but a terrifying expectation of judgment and THE FURY OF A FIRE WHICH WILL CONSUME THE ADVERSARIES.

Hebrews 10:28–29a (NIV)
28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot . . . ?

Hebrews 10:30–31 (ESV)
30 For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

My experience with “presuming upon God’s grace” was horrific. I not only later received the “natural consequences” of my actions (which were negative enough), I experienced the immediate “terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries.”

Though the horror of the “expectation” was real I did not experience the judgement I “expected.” At that moment of sin I expected to be rejected by God and go to hell. And He gave me no indication at that moment that that would not happen. I experienced the expectation of the fury of the flames of hell.

It was a “fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

I begged God to forgive me and not send me to hell. At that moment I realized I was not going to hell. I was trembling. My assumption that I could “sin without consequence” was replaced by reverent fear of God the Holy One and fear of sinning against Him.

Though I “deserved” to be punished “much more severely” God’s mercy saved me from my sin, His unlimited mercy triumphed over judgement of me.

Rather than being cast into hell I was taught a lesson and saved. You are welcome to judge my experience any way you like but I now fear “presuming upon God’s grace,” I have not “presumed” again, and I will meet you in heaven.

Disallowing Disagreement

(In the following quote Ravi Zacharias is addressing, in my understanding, “Political Correctness” on university campuses and our increasing tendency to disallow disagreement. – Jim McNaughton)

“More sadly, this secular approach to truth has even seeped into the Church. We fear doubt because doubt means that disagreement is near, and disagreement is dangerous and therefore must be suppressed before it can do any damage. Hence, at the first sign of doubt, we fight or we flee. Instead of being “merciful to those who doubt” (Jude 22), we have labeled them as dangerous and have either dismissed them by not creating a space for them to ask their questions or demonized them by treating doubt as a moral failure.
To this I would add only that it is not by mere questioning that we arrive at the truth, but rather by questioning that is taken seriously in the context of community and responded to with gentleness and respect.”
Zacharias, Ravi. Jesus Among Secular Gods (pp. 215-216). FaithWords. Kindle Edition.

I disagree with the Wesleyan Church.

I presented my disagreement to a leader and that I was going to share what I believed with others. I was told to remain silent or not to stay joined to the church. (I had been a member for over 30 years). The reason? A leader’s fear of me and my disagreement endangering what he said was the “love and unity of the church.”

Love and unity are not found in conformity.

Love and unity are found in mutual: seeking wisdom from Jesus in prayer, respectful listening, discussion, learning from each other, and collaborative problem-solving, under-girded by a commitment to a common Lord.

Not in suppression of disagreement.

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