wisdom – I AM for You!

I can’t hear you over my talking

Many people that I personally interacted with today are worried about what President-elect Donald Trump will do to them; their relationships, their bodies, their jobs. I didn’t understand until I thought: Would I be concerned about my religious rights and freedom of speech rights if Hillary Clinton had won? I am very scared of the trouble her presidency would have caused me and worried if I would be willing to stay true to Jesus in the face of unknown suffering.

These people are also tired of hearing, “Don’t worry,” “Get over it,” and other mindless remarks by friends, family, etc. that may show they don’t understand, don’t care or both.

What I am trying to do is listen with my heart for their heart. We are all people and we all have a story. If I interrupt, judge, give advice am I going to hear their story? Do I really just want to hear myself talk and confirm to myself how brilliant I am in my own eyes or do I want to discover another beautiful human being and their unique story?

Everyone’s opinion makes sense to them. If I listen long enough they may tell me why they feel the way they do. Today I heard why someone believes in doing something I wouldn’t do. And from their perspective it made sense.

This presidential election proved that most people want to be heard. And “the other side” has feelings and concerns that don’t make sense.

Until you listen.

Nobody’s perfect (part II)

I am part of a team of people starting “HOPE” for Mental Health at Kentwood Community Church. We are part of Celebrate Recovery founded by Rick Warren of Saddleback Church. This group of courageous people, who admit their imperfections and trust Jesus to deliver them, have been a catalyst to me being able to confess my sins to another trusted person (or small group). I read my Nobody’s Perfect post from August of 2013 tonight and realized I had promised to get back to you when I had put this into practice.

Much better late than never.

I had told Jesus my sins but telling another person with skin on freed me from most of the grip of satan in my life. No amount of prayer has freed me as much as telling my sin to another person. Sin loses power when exposed.

I have known for years that I was “supposed to” confess my sins to another. But I made excuses and told myself it really didn’t matter. I lost years of my life to satan’s influence simply because “I know more than God.”

God is not mocked. I reaped what I sowed.

But I have learned.

Hopefully.

I was a perfect parent… until I had children

Preface

The great thing about being young and inexperienced is that you know everything. At least I did. Before I had children I knew what every misbehaving kid needed. Before children I had all the answers. After children I don’t even remember the questions. But it is not just the young and inexperienced who suffer from omniscience. Experienced parents who believe that what worked for their kids will work for all kids cause greater pain. And the parents of special needs kids, in my case kids with mental health challenges, feel that pain. Sometimes from the disapproving looks of strangers, but many times from the comments of their own parents, family and friend

I was a Perfect Parent… Until I had Children

By Jim McNaughton B.S. (Barely Sane)
(Style inspired by Dr. Seuss, only for parents)

Some children are brought home and sleep through the night
They are corrected according to the books
They don’t fight and they don’t bite
And fall in line with one stern look
The parents of these
Children that please
Sometimes take the credit
They write books and give others looks
When the others just don’t quite get it

But we are not the parents of these that please
Our children not only don’t get it
They study us intently to learn our faults and
Our buttons in hopes to upset it

They can weave a lie without batting an eye
They love the crowds all around
To yell “you’re hurting me” and “I can’t breathe”
Though you’re NOT and they CAN
(And YOU just want to LEAVE)

Try Love and Logic they say
It works the best
(Unless you’re kid has no
Cause and effect)
Put up a chart… Charge him for you to do his chores…
You just need to be firm… You just need to love more…
We know the answer… (Though we hardly know your kid…)
We think we know him much more than you ever did

So the next time you see my child and me
Struggling while we go through the store
Please lend us some of your compassion

Advice… We don’t need any more.

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