Is Jesus a Feminist? Part 2

Jesus’ perspective on being the head

English Standard Version Chapter 20
25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Connecting how Jesus is the head of the Church;
And how He wants the husband to be the head of his wife

The Bible says that the husband is the “head” of the wife (the “first” in the two-party relationship) just as Christ is the head of the Church. The Bible says that wives are to “submit” to their husbands “as to the Lord.”

Some read this as husbands are to be in charge; the husband calls the shots and his wife should sit there quietly and look pretty. Let’s examine what the Bible REALLY says about this by the husband as head doing what Jesus as head is doing.

  • Jesus clearly says that “lording it over his wife” (25) is not to be done among followers of Him (26).
  • The husband who wants to fulfill the role of being the head – the first in the relationship – “must be his wife’s slave” (27).
  • Just as Jesus came to serve and not be served so the husband must serve his wife; giving up his wants, his needs, his life, in order to serve the best interest of his wife (28).

The husband’s authority begins and ends in serving the best interest of his wife. She definitely does not have to submit to abuse, or be treated as second-class or inferior. God made THEM male and female, equally in the image of God. The current use of the Bible, by some, to subjugate wives, is proving you do not understand Jesus or the Bible.

The wife’s responsibility is to respect her husband, not because he deserves it, but because he NEEDS it to function the way God designed him. Her submission to her husband is, in fact, her submitting to him giving her what is in her best interest. And if there is a track record of the husband sacrificially serving his wife’s best interest, she most likely will gladly submit.

The first part of this essay is at:

Congratulations Stuart L. Tutt author of “Something to Stu Over” | 2nd Nomination “Sunshine Blogger Award”

Sunshine Blogger Award Rules:
-Thank the blogger who nominated you.
-Answer the 11 questions asked.
-Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
-List the rules and include the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post.

Thank you Stuart L. Tutt for nominating me in this Award series.

The following are my answers to the 11 questions from Stuart.

1. If you could change one thing in the world what would it be?


It might be trite or cliche but I really believe that.  I don’t love others consistently, especially my family.  They are most important to me and I want to give them my best.

2. What is the one thing you want to instill in your children, if you have any?

The following is what I have tried to communicate to them for the last 20 years. 

To know that Jesus loves them with all his heart, no matter what they have done or will do.  That Jesus will not force himself on them and I will not force Jesus on them.  That Jesus would rather die than spend eternity without them, and he did.  That they can choose to have a relationship with Jesus if they want; they just need to ask him to forgive their wrongs and trust him in leading the rest of their lives.

3. What is your favorite faith based film and why?

“Facing the Giants.”

This is the first contemporary Christian film I have seen.  I cried through it.  This film ignited the courage I needed to end my job of 23 years, finish college (1976-2010) and become a Certified Peer Support Specialist, helping other mentally ill people recover as I am recovering.

4. If you could have all your friends donate to a charity, of your choice, which one would it be and why?

I would want them to donate generously to the “Jim McNaughton Retirement Fund.” 

Just kidding. 

I would want them to donate to the charity of their choice.  I don’t want to force my wishes on anyone else.

5. What advice would you give to engaged couples?

Submit to each other.  Men unconditionally love your wives like Jesus loves us and gave himself up for us.  Women give your husbands the unconditional respect he desperately needs, whether he deserves it or not.  (See Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs).

6. What advice would you give a new dad on how to raise his daughter?

We don’t have a daughter.  But if I had it to raise my sons again I would value them over my work, specifically with my time.

7. What is your favorite hobby?

Writing “I AM for You!” and interacting with the WordPress Community.

8. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Playing ping-pong with some friends’ fathers at a friend’s birthday party when I was probably 5 years old.  They made me feel valued and special.  Looking back I believe they were Christians.

9. If your house was on fire (and everyone was safe, ) what would be the one thing you’d grab to take with you?

My wife’s collection of photos.

10. How do you interpret the term submit in reference to marriage?

The Bible says first we are to submit one to another.
The Husband is to lead the wife in submitting by serving her needs over his desires; giving up his rights to serve her best, as Jesus did for us.
The Wife is to submit to her husband, “as to the Lord,” by respecting her husband and serving his needs.  This is “as to the Lord.”  The Lord would never abuse anyone and a wife should not submit to abuse.  She should seek shelter and heal.

This is developed a little more in if you are interested.

11. How do you define being the spiritual leader of the family?

I struggle with doing this consistently.  I want my wife and my two boys to enjoy Jesus’ love by talking to him, listening to him, and doing what he tells them.  For me to help them I must do this myself.  And so, the struggle begins.


My 11 Nominations are:

“Sunshine” isn’t just positive thinking, success methods, and being carried by Jesus through the storms.  The first twenty years of my life were characterized by trying to do the impossible by trying to please the unstable.  Once I became mentally ill I found a desperate and hopeless “reality” that was a horrific nightmare.  This nightmare never ended, day or night, until I met Jesus.  This is the context I came from.  And this is the context I write from.

I would like to nominate others (who don’t have to be Christians) who have overcome or are in the process of overcoming, their former context.  Those that face their former context and produce a life and words that rise up like a Phoenix out of their ashes.  These are my heroes.  These are my “Sunshine.”  (The context doesn’t have to be dramatic, it can be anything you have found difficult to overcome).

I feel I need permission from them to nominate them.  And I don’t feel comfortable asking them permission because I don’t know them well enough to ask them.

If you know someone who fits a “Phoenix rising out of the ashes” context (even yourself?) I humbly and respectfully ask you to accept my nomination, or ask that certain someone to accept my nomination.  Then ask them if they would answer the below questions and know they are honored and respected.


Please feel free to add or delete questions as you wish.

My 11 questions are:

Who was one of your childhood heroes and why?

Who is a hero to you today and why?

Why are YOU a hero to someone today and why?

What hero values would you pass down to someone (if they wanted you to) and why?


What is your favorite author when you were a child and why?

What is your favorite author now and why?

What attracts you to read a blog and why?


What impact are you seeking, and on whom, with your blog?

What is your favorite comment you’ve received on your blog?

What impact has your blog had on YOU, and why?

Would you write your blog anyway, even if you knew it might not ever be read; and why?


Thank you for reading my very long post!









Life has been quite the ride…

Mental illness can be a roller coaster.  I have been without any money, job, or future.  I have had a roughly $45,000 per year job; but hated what I was doing.  I have a job I love, but it’s got its struggles.

What can I ask God for?  What will he do for me?  What can I expect from Him?

The following is something I’ve learned on this journey…

God loves love.

I learned this lesson from a sad situation.  Someone I love was making false accusations against me because I was a Jesus follower.  I remembered the verse Jesus said, Blessed are you… …Great is your reward in heaven.

I rejected that.

I was hurting because I love this person and they are rejecting Jesus.  Years later, when thinking about this, I asked God to help me understand.

God let me experience the feeling of phileo love I have for this person.  And being able to love was the reward.  I had loved them back then when they were attacking me… and I love them to this day.

I then realized that loving and being able to love was supreme, the main theme of the Bible, and possibly the theme of parables.

The following uses that experience to interpret the Parable of the Talents.

Be careful what you wish for…

Utilitarian philosophers sound brilliant to many when they present.  And many want to be Utilitarian philosophers.  Because…

“Only the strong survive.

Eliminate the defective gene pool.

We don’t want to be burdened by those who are not our problem.

Eliminate the useless.”

The rest of us say, “Then there is nothing more useless than “utilitarian philosophers.””

“Shall we kill then first the “philosophers?””

Utilitarian philosophers suddenly decide on a new career path.


(I know… I’m mentally ill.  And as such whatever I do or say is suspect.  Therefore I give you my disclaimer:  The post is irony, satire, a funny, it’s a joke… I am not going to harm anyone and I don’t want anyone to harm anyone.  Am I now politically correct?)

Is Jesus a “Feminist?”

Ephesians 5:21-33

Mutual Submission

21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Wife’s Submission

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Husband’s submission

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her

28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;


New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. (1995). (Eph 5:21, 22, 23, 25, 28). La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.


A superficial reading of the above verses may lead some people to think Jesus is against women. The Feminists may read the above to mean Jesus is for male domination.  The average guy may just think God is telling him that husbands make the rules.

None of this is true.

Verse 21 says that we are all to submit to one another.  Some Bibles separate this verse from the marriage instructions that follow.  This is misleading.

Since structural divisions of the text are made by man and not by God, I feel I can suggest a change.  I think that this verse belongs with the verses below it, talking about submission. Not only that, but I think it is a headline and a summary of what follows about submission.

In verse 22 the words “be subject to” do not appear in the oldest texts. The words “be subject to” are “borrowed” from verse 21 according to The Commentary Critical and Explanatory of the Whole Bible. This fact implies the connection of verse 21 to the following “submission” verses.

In verse 23 what does the husband’s “headship” over his wife look like?
The husband as the head leads his wife in their mutual serving of each other by serving her highest good above his own.  He is an example of giving up his desires to meet her needs. A wife will many times gladly submit to someone who truly demonstrates by consistent actions that his top priority is her highest good.

Compare this view to the superficial understanding of “wives submit to your husbands” which the Feminists rightfully reject.  If in verse 25 a husband is giving up his life for his wife, where does male domination come in?  It is actually just the opposite of male domination. The wife’s needs are the driving force and the husband gives up his rights in order to serve those needs with everything he is.

So how did Jesus demonstrate his headship?  Jesus never dominated the church.  He never said, “God made me in charge over you, so you have to do what I say.”  He relinquished all his rights: to justice, to fairness and even to life and he did what we the church needed most.  He died an excruciating and humiliating death to give us life forever with him. And when he gave up all his rights, he entrusted himself to his Father’s care.  And the Father raised him from the dead. And gave Jesus a Name above all names.

So how do husbands and wives serve each other’s needs?

33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.


New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. (1995). (Eph 5:33). La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.a



Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs is based on verse 33.  My quick synopsis of the book is: Men need first unconditional respect, women need first unconditional love.  If what is needed first is missing the “Crazy Cycle” is born.  Women usually recognize that they deserve “unconditional love.”  They might not understand however, that men need “unconditional respect.”  A woman who gives her husband “unconditional respect” will see him flourish. Otherwise, he will wither. A husband who gives his wife “unconditional love” will see her flourish.  Otherwise, he will see her wither.

The Crazy Cycle – When either spouse does not get what they need (either love or respect) they respond in a way to the other that the other interprets negatively as not meeting their needs. And on and on it goes.

So “is Jesus a Feminist?”

Jesus is just as concerned as Feminists that women aren’t dominated by men. In fact, Jesus ONLY gives husbands the authority to serve the best interests of his wife, not to dominate her.

Note:  Wives submit to their husbands “as to the Lord.”  The Lord never abuses, and wives are not to submit to abuse.  Seek shelter and get healing.  Only if you are healthy can you help anyone else.

Click below for Part 2 of this essay: