2 Surely I am more stupid than any man,
And I do not have the understanding of a man.
3 Neither have I learned wisdom,
Nor do I have the knowledge of the Holy One.
Proverbs 30:2–3 (NASB95)
19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
James 1:19–20 (NASB95)
My perception of my helplessness produces fear of loss and my reaction to fear of loss is anger. And I feel that anger must be expressed NOW! I am wrong. But at the time I am wrong, I don’t know that I am wrong.
How can I stop this? I have made this mistake more than one time. Or, rather, more than one million times. “Surely I am more stupid than any man.” Proverbs 30:2 (NASB95)
I have asked my godly wife to warn me when I am not thinking right. And, with great courage, she does. But at the time “I am much smarter than she is” and I don’t listen. I have godly friends that I consider consulting. But I figure they too “don’t know as much as me and would just talk me out of ‘setting things straight.'”
What about reading the counsel of God (the Bible)? Aaurgh! I am cut to the heart. How can I argue with God? I am afraid of what He will tell me. Maybe, “for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” James 1:19–20 (NASB95) Aaurgh again! I am confronted with absolute truth, wisdom and love. My excuses fall to the floor and shatter.
I am left with a choice.
Obey God and not express sinful anger, but rather trust Jesus and humble myself and work productively through the situation. Or disobey God and reap the consequences of ignoring an all-wise God.
Most recently I chose the latter, and had to write an apology afterwards. But hopefully I will invest more time in reading Jesus’ Word (the Bible) and listening to Jesus in prayer and He will direct me to talk to my godly friends more and especially talk more with my godly wife.
As someone wise once said, “Being charged up with time with God – leaks.” I must spend more time reading the Bible and praying every single day and I will be prepared for the next attack of the enemy.