Month: May 2018

Major depression and especially Bipolar depression is not like some think.  When you say depression they think about when their dog died and they were depressed.  They think, “Everybody gets depressed.  Just make like a rubber band and snap out of it.”  This was said to me when I was in the depths of depression.

My constant thought is that “I just wanted to get back to normal.”  Being awake or asleep was a constant, horrific nightmare that I couldn’t get out of.  Relentless pressure of psychic pain.  Everyone hated me.  I shouldn’t eat because I wasn’t working.  Guilt.  Sadness.  Loss of everything that was important to me.  People who  have no clue, giving advice as if they think they are telling me something I don’t already know.  Condemnation by everyone. Despair.  Without hope.

And satan is constantly telling me to kill myself.  He says it would be better.  Don’t think anymore about it just do it.  It would end all this suffering.

And of course satan is a liar.  His goal is my death.  To hurt God.  To hurt my family.  To hurt me.

Yet the pain is so great I actually consider it.  Like a deadly light to a moth I am attracted.  Why keep on living?  This pain is constant.  No break.  I haven’t felt anything but bad in forever.  Where is God?  Why is this happening?

With all my strength, wishing for something I do not feel is there, thinking it is not worth it, I choose to live.  Satan laughs at me telling me I have made the wrong choice.

And as I lay on the summer grass at Kalamazoo Regional Psychiatric Hospital, I close my eyes, knowing that this round is over, and I go to sleep.

God loves people with mental illness.  Jesus healed them.  God goes with us in our pain and bears most of it.  God wants us to live.  He used/is using every ounce of suffering I have gone through to help others.  And helping others gives me joy that is worth all the former pain.

I am so glad I didn’t kill myself.  I would not know the joy I feel now.

Jesus had a plan for me.  He has a plan for you.  I am asking Him to help you.

Take the risk and trust Him.

I just wanted to give the credit for the BEAUTIFUL photo at the top of this blog to my son Jeremy.  He has taken many great photos and I am grateful that he is allowing me to use this one.

Great job, Jeremy!

(c) Copyright Notice 2018.  The photos in this blog are Jeremy’s, unless otherwise noted, and need his express written permission to be used by anyone.  The words are mine and now you must get my express written permission to use them.  Also, you must give a clear credit and path back to james.bruce.mcnaughton@gmail.com and https://i-m-4-u.com/

Thank you!

Jim

I just read a post about mistakes in blogging.  I have a perfect score.

I’m making all of them.

The post made me think… what is the purpose of this blog?

First and foremost I want to let those dealing with mental illness know that Jesus loves them just the way they are, he respects them and he has a plan for their life to give them hope and a purpose and a future.

I also want to combat satan’s influence.  Too many Pastors are ignorant of mental illness and blame the sufferer for their suffering causing infinitely more intense suffering.  These Pastors may believe that all mental illness is caused by not trusting God and by not obeying God’s instructions (concerning worry, anxiety, depression, grief, etc.).  And that all mental illness can be cured by repenting of this sin, by believing Jesus for healing, and by having enough faith.  These Pastors may also “not believe in” medication.

To these Pastors I have a challenge.  Prove your faith in the healing power of Jesus that you want us to have by asking Jesus to heal your vision. Then remove your glasses. Then drive in rush hour traffic.

If Jesus always heals the organ known as the brain in response to our faith he will also always heal the organs known as the eyes in response to your faith.

God can heal everyone with mental illness right now, miraculously.  And he can heal everyone’s vision right now, miraculously.  He doesn’t always choose to do that though.  Many times Jesus chooses to use loving, supportive people who fill us with hope and counsel, who give us scriptural advice, and medicines that bring brain chemistry back to normal functioning.

Now, not everyone needs medications.  But at least for me it’s the difference between a normal, positive, productive life and spending the rest of my life locked up in a mental ward in incessant horrific psychotic pain.

I have other purposes for this blog but you have already been more than gracious in reading this far.  I defer to another post.  Thank you for reading.

(You can click the link below if you want to read the blog I read with advice about writing a better blog by not making 5 common mistakes).

https://discover.wordpress.com/2018/01/30/giles-meets-world/