I AM for You!

How the threat of hell turned me to Jesus

I was told that most people initially come to God because of His love for them. I did not. I came to God because I was afraid of going to hell. Hell was an instrumental part of the gospel for me to come to Jesus. I didn’t care about Jesus’ love for me (before I came to know Him, that is). But I did care about suffering, and being condemned for eternity. When Bonnie, (who was telling me about hell) heard me say to her, “Something is telling me that this (hell) isn’t true,” she replied, “That’s satan lying to you.” I then instantly remembered a science fiction short story where someone was controlling everyone’s mind, but made them think it was their own thoughts.

Could satan be deceiving me and I not know it?

This was a pivotal question.

The stakes were too high to dismiss the possibility immediately, I had to think about it. If satan was real and the master of deceit, would he want me to be aware of him influencing my thoughts? No, he would want me to be deceived into thinking that he was not controlling me, that my thoughts were my own and that I was free to think and do what I want. He would not want me to believe in hell and know that that is where I was headed. He would tell me that hell isn’t true.

I wrestled with this “going to hell” thing for days (at least it seemed like it). Late at night, I decided to accept Jesus as my Savior. It couldn’t really be as easy as telling Jesus I was sorry for my sins (and meaning it) and accepting His death on the cross as payment (in full) to God for those sins, could it? I prayed over and over. But I didn’t “feel” saved. Finally, I said to God, “I have done what you have asked, if I’m not saved it’s your fault!” And I went to bed. I felt strangely confident that I had done the right thing. Looking back I didn’t treat God with the respect He deserves, but I did trust Him to save me. And He honors that.

If you don’t have a growing relationship with Jesus, the Master of the universe, and you would like one, ask Him for one, He is glad to reach out to anyone who calls on Him. If you do not want a relationship with Jesus you are warned. You are already on your way to an eternity without Love, without Jesus, without God. You will be alone (not partying with friends). And you will wonder over and over, “Why did I reject Him?” And that is hell.

Do You Want to Know Jesus?

God created us with a free will.
He respects us so much that He will not force Himself on us.
He is a gentleman and only goes where He is invited.
He created this world in such a way that while we live in it we can choose whether we want a relationship with Him or not.
We can acknowledge Him or deny Him.
Because God loves us and seeks our love He has left a record of who He is, what He is like, and what He wants.
It’s the Bible.
In the Bible He pleads with us to choose Him because He is Life and Love and Peace.
He gives blessing to those who love and follow Him.
He warns us that apart from following Him there is no life, love or peace.
There is momentary pleasure in not obeying God (sin), but the pain that follows can last forever.
He offers complete forgiveness and new life to anyone who asks Him for it.
It is His free gift to us; though it cost Him His life to be able to offer it.
You have a choice to make.
You can ignore what you have just read.
You can post-pone your decision.
Or, you can act on what you’ve read.
If you ignore what you have read, and die that way, you will stand before Jesus having rejected His offer of His Love and Forgiveness.
You will suddenly realize that what you thought was most important in life (fame, fortune, pleasure and power) now means nothing.
And Loving God and other people will become the glaringly obvious purpose your life was to have.
If you post-pone your decision you have made a false assumption that you will have a second chance to decide.
You know absolutely nothing about the future.
Your life could end before you finish reading this sentence.
So, in reality, no answer is the answer no.
And, because you passively rejected God you will experience the same fate as those who actively reject God.
Or, you can act on what you have read.
You can realize that God made you, loves you, died to forgive you and wants a love relationship with you.
You can humble yourself and ask for His forgiveness and surrender to Him, making Him the One Who Saves you and the One Who Leads you.
God’s Holy Spirit of Jesus will come to live in you and will never leave you.
He will give you a new spirit that is bent toward loving God and other people.
And He will give you tests and trials meant to shape you more and more like His Son Jesus; and also meant to reveal to the world The One living inside you.
I wasted my life until I was 27 years old before accepting Jesus.
And God had to give me mental illness, and take away everything I ever wanted before I would risk surrendering to Him.
Now I would not go back to living apart from Him for anyone or anything.
Jesus is my Life.
And it is a joy filled life.
There is pain, but there is never ending hope.
And I will be forever glad that I chose to follow Jesus.

Why God allowed suffering in my life (for both before and after becoming a Christian)

I grew up obeying rules and secretly (secret from myself, that is) thinking I was better than other people. At nineteen, as I was beginning a slide into depression but didn’t know it, I was “called” into my bedroom by what I was hoping/afraid might be God. I told Him I wanted to be like the Christians in the Bible. God told me through the Bible that those who are forgiven little, love little. But, those who are forgiven much, love much. I thought I had little to be forgiven of so I told God I wanted to be forgiven of much and I thought it might be fun to sin. God impressed on my spirit, “You’re a sinner!” He wasn’t talking about your everyday church-going sinner that we all are. He meant I was vile, evil and depraved. I replied, “No, I’m not!” He said again, “You’re a sinner!” I said again, “No, I’m not!”

Then God did the kindest, most loving thing He could do for me: He “blessed” me with mental illness (that would not be correctly treated for ten years). The mental illness caused indescribable psychic pain, anguish, regret, and shame. My emotions left me (but I didn’t know it) causing me to feel like I hadn’t really talked to anyone for ten years; I literally felt alone for all of those years. And, my Pride was assaulted: I was in and out of mental hospitals, I was humiliated because I lost many jobs, I could not do some of the simplest of things (like count money), and I despised being labeled mentally ill and a failure.

Why did I call it God’s “blessing?” because that was the only way for my Pride to fall. I came to realize I was vile, evil and depraved; just like God had told me. God called me again after ten years and I grudgingly accepted Him. And God began the continuous work of changing me so that eventually I will have the beautiful loving character of His Only Begotten Son, Jesus.

But bringing me to Jesus wasn’t the only value of the pain. God allowed that pain to go deep within to allow me to care deeply about the hurts of others; to be able to empathize with others, and let others in pain know I that have hurt deeply as well. I use the pain God gave me every day in my job, as I walk alongside those dealing with mental illness. (And, I also use the pain to understand others who have experienced pain, such as my children, who were traumatized before we adopted them).

I wouldn’t wish mental illness on anyone. I wish I could have learned without the pain. But God used the pain to win me to Himself and change me; and help me to care about, and be willing and able to serve, others.

And for that I will forever be grateful.

	100% JESUS on American slavery was horrific.…
	100% JESUS on American slavery was horrific.…
	100% JESUS on My most important post to…
	james bruce mcnaught… on My most important post to…
	100% JESUS on My most important post to…