With my eyes closed in fear of Him
Jesus led me,
With my eyes closed in fear of God
Jesus gave me sight.
With my eyes now opening,
Jesus rescued me.
With my eyes now opening,
Jesus is ending the night.
Theresa said (and I imperfectly paraphrase), If God is an infinitely better parent than I am, would He say, “This is for your own good,” and push His child down the stairs to “teach them a lesson”? I recoiled at that statement. Yet it broke through my blindness. That’s what I have been claiming God did to me. I have said, God gave me mental illness for ten years to humble me. He did not.
Satan did.
But not to humble me but to terrorize me.
Theresa said (and I imperfectly paraphrase), You cannot get close to God if you believe He has harmed you.
I believed God had greatly harmed me, tortured me constantly in my mind, and had the same character today – “for my own good.” I was totally deceived.
And I am now disoriented.
Forty Seven years of deception does not leave my mind voluntarily. Yet the impossibility of God doing evil remains.
Though satan’s plan was to terrorize me, Jesus had a plan to love me:
Jesus arranged for me to meet one of His followers in 1985. That follower presented Jesus through their words and actions. That follower took me to church and mentored me. I listened to Rev. Dr. Charles F. Stanley 6 days a week for two years. I married the most wonderful, godly woman in the world from whom I keep learning about love. I was involved with Promise Keepers and The Global Leadership Summit. I learned from 100 John C. Maxwell Injoy Life tapes. I have been delivered from people seeking to end my employment or did end my employment because I stood up for Jesus at four different companies. Jesus has lived through me to write over 100 communications published on a weekly rotation to thousands of readers for over 10 years (Through Jesus writing these essays through me He taught me what I was ready to learn). Jesus started
a mental health support group through me at my church. And I record Jesus’
progress with me in this blog.
That is how Jesus is loving me into trusting Him after satan poisoned my whole view of God.
The counseling I have received and the classes I am taking are priceless for my healing. For more information go to https://lifecentergr.org/
I AM for You! 