Do I really know you?

I made assumptions without experience and was comfortable I knew the truth.

If I don’t take my mental health meds people object. They tell me I have to take my meds or I won’t think right. If I take the meds and do well they say it is not me doing well, it is the meds that are doing it. They say if they took meds they would have an easy time doing well just like me. If I miss my meds and do poorly it is my fault, not the lack of meds, and I am just showing who I really am.

I don’t know if ignorance is bliss, but it certainly makes a lot of assumptions. At the bottom of https://i-m-4-u.com/ is a poem I wrote called, “I was a perfect parent. . . Until I had children.” Parents . . . perhaps you can relate. I made assumptions without experience and was comfortable I knew the truth.

And I can condemn you because I know why I acted that way in the past and so you must be acting that way for the same reason. By doing this I condemn myself; and I’ve done it countless times.

My brain is an electro-chemical machine. Around age 18 I went off to college in a different city and because I didn’t know Jesus and didn’t know mental health guidelines, I spiraled down in depression. My brain chemistry changed. So now my meds help my brain chemistry function more like God intended.

I would like to not need the meds and am working toward that goal through learning forgiveness, trusting Jesus for what I need, trusting Jesus to produce love, joy, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control in me. But my brain may be permanently damaged and I may need the meds the rest of my life.

The next time I see someone I don’t understand, may God grant me the honesty to say to myself: I don’t understand them; but I will talk to them and learn.

P.S. This was very convicting to me to write. Like Paul, I am the worst sinner I know, but thank God for Jesus who rescues me.

Sometimes the Pastor is wrong…

Have you ever heard a Pastor say that if you only had enough faith you wouldn’t have depression? Or if you didn’t have unconfessed sin in your life God would heal you?

In the following account of a man who was suffering, Jesus doesn’t blame the man for having sin. He doesn’t even require the man have faith to be healed. Read it and see if you can tell whose faith Jesus rewarded.

Mark 2:3–5 (NASB95)

3 And they *came, bringing to [Jesus] a paralytic, carried by four men.

4 Being unable to get to Him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Him; and when they had dug an opening, they let down the pallet on which the paralytic was lying.

5 And Jesus seeing their faith *said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

Jesus saw their faith; not his (the paralytic’s) faith. The man had some LOVING FRIENDS who asked Jesus to heal their friend and Jesus did.

Mark 2:9–12 (NASB95)

9 “Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven’; or to say, ‘Get up, and pick up your pallet and walk’?

10 “But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—He *said to the paralytic,

11 “I say to you, get up, pick up your pallet and go home.”

12 And he got up and immediately picked up the pallet and went out in the sight of everyone, so that they were all amazed and were glorifying God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this.”

Jesus doesn’t criticize, he heals. He doesn’t judge, he forgives. He doesn’t demand, he supplies.

Jesus gave me mental illness, and I have asked him to heal me. He has chosen not to. Except through medications. And I am grateful for those medications. I believe he is using me just as he wants to, warts, mental illness and all. But I would invite you to ask him to heal you. And if you have loving friends ask them to pray on your behalf.

In my case, His best is continued mental illness with the purpose of using it to win the mentally ill to Him. And I am eternally grateful he is allowing me to do this. I am having more fun sharing Jesus’ love than I would doing anything else. And Jesus, restoring me to sanity, using meds and His Holy Spirit in me, is enough of a miracle to give people hope He will love them too.