I listened to a snippet of a radio broadcast and learned: My gift is to help others, not to try and gain praise for myself. There are no “stars” that follow Jesus. Only people that love to let Jesus serve others though them. This reminds me of Jesus’ parables – where the servant comes in from working in the field and his master tells him to serve his master first and then eat – And, where his master does not praise him for doing what he was told – And, where we say we are unprofitable servants we have only done what is expected.
No “stars” is so obvious. That’s why I have to hide my wrong motives, especially from myself. If I sit and pray and think long enough and focused enough about why I am doing something many times I see the truth. I don’t like the truth and I reject it. But it keeps coming back and eventually I surrender and accept what my real ungodly motives are. I give my ungodly desires to Jesus to deal with and I ask Him to help me follow Him again.
Jesus is the answer to all my problems. And He gently makes me aware of those problems. And puts me on His shoulders and carries me back to the flock.