Jesus never gives up on me, so…

Cognitive Dissonance is a fancy term that I think means that two or more things in my mind don’t make sense together.  In my case it also means I am a hypocrite.  At my job I am motivated to pour acceptance, encouragement, listening, occasional problem-solving into my client-friends.  I have rewarding relationships with many of them.  But I noticed I wasn’t the same person at home.

At home I don’t get the thank you’s when I do something for my son like I do at work.  My son doesn’t even listen all the way to the end of a sentence when I talk to him.  I felt like I didn’t get the “love and respect” I got at work.  And it didn’t take me long to figure out why.

I am starting to unconditionally accept and encourage my son, just like I do my client-friends at work.  I don’t do this based on how I feel about him at the time.  I do it based on the fact that other ways aren’t working.  Like always the Bible was right all along:  Do for others the same things that you want them to do for you.  I want him to respect me, I will first respect him.  I want him to thank me, I will thank him.  I want his encouragement and love, I will first give him my encouragement and love.

I have failed, will fail and am failing at this.  But as John Maxwell’s friend says about getting knocked down in life:  I’m either up or getting up.

There are still times I get mad at my oldest son.  But I am on a new direction (or a redo of an older direction).  And I will continue to pursue a relationship with him no matter how many times I fail.

Author: james bruce mcnaughton

I became Seriously Mentally Ill at age 18, ten years later I got and took the right meds, I accepted Jesus, and my recovery began. View all posts by james bruce mcnaughton