The interpretation of Reality is largely dependent on the mental context of the observer. That is, we see what fits into who we are at the moment.
Dr. John Maxwell has said, “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
Say Little Johnny doesn’t know me and walks up and kicks me.
When I was young and inexperienced with raising kids I immediately would say it is the parent’s fault. And I would immediately KNOW just what the child needed.
Now that I am old and experienced with raising my kids (which is VERY different from raising your kids or you raising anyone else’s kids) I may say, “I have no idea whose fault it is, let’s not worry about finding fault, let’s try to help. Let’s try to talk to and try to understand Johnny, his parents, his friends, etc. … and try to help all of them in their struggle to get the love they need.
That love may take the form of discipline, but more likely also, understanding, redirecting, listening, more structure, less structure, etc. …”