Can my relationship with Jesus ever end?

In reading the entire Bible I have read portions that suggest that after I know Jesus, and He knows me, that I can choose to reject Him and spend eternity without Him.  I also have read portions that suggest that if I reject Him it is proof that I did not ever know Him and He never knew me.  And, that if I ever knew Him, and He knew me, He would never leave me.

So what does it matter?  Who cares?  Is this a game of words without consequence?

When I was first found by God I thought I had to “persevere” to the end of my life with my “faith” to prove I was worthy of heaven.  I had to make it to heaven based on my performance.  Then I came across the idea that my future has been secured by Jesus.  My relationship with Jesus did not start based on my behavior and it will not end based on my behavior.  My future is based on Jesus power to save me from start to finish; not in my ability to not reject Him.

One of the things I learned while severely mentally ill, was that I am totally depraved without Jesus.  I had the illusion of being “pretty good” in my own eyes.  When my mind left me and with it all perceived respect from others; when I had no support from family and friends; when I was powerless to get what I wanted or needed; when there was no pay-off for being “good:”  I chose evil.  I sunk lower than I ever believed I would.

I do not pretend that there is anything good in me, apart from Jesus.  And, if my salvation is based in any way on my ability to keep it; I am as good as lost.  I have told Jesus I give up the choice to reject Him if, in fact, I have that ability.  I told Him that I am completely depending on Him to keep our relationship forever.

And Jesus is answering that prayer.  Now, I don’t have to fear failing. And so I am free to say to Him, do whatever You want in my life, Lord, whatever You want.

And He does.