Two steps back

Yesterday I went through a mini-depression.  I am still wounded this morning, but I think I am coming out of it.  It was terrible.  I had no motivation and was not able to get myself motivated.  I realized that “pep talks” were useless to help myself so I analyzed what was going on when I became aware of depression.  I was feeling helpless, angry, betrayed, being forced to do something that was emotionally difficult with little sense of the appreciation of others.  It seemed like a single event triggered this mini-depression yet I can see that it was building below my “awareness” for weeks.

God says in Proverbs in the Bible:  The wounds of a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.  I believe that God (my friend) gave me this mini-depression to teach me.  I realize now that what I am trying to do to help others get out of depression will not immediately address what they need.  And I have a fresh reminder of the pain depression gives and the sense that though I am constantly trying… there is no way out.

I don’t know why I am coming out of depression this morning.  Perhaps God has taught me what I need to know, or at least given me much to think about.  My heart breaks for those who are caught in depression and other mental illness.  Oh Jesus, please help them!

Author: james bruce mcnaughton

I became Seriously Mentally Ill at age 18, ten years later I got and took the right meds, I accepted Jesus, and my recovery began.

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